How To Avoid Killing Your Own – HAVE you heard any motivational speaker describing some people as ‘dream killers?’ I have, in fact, in some of my motivational lectures, identified some people as ‘dream killers’.

But, many years ago, something happened that made me to have a second look at the people we call ‘dream killers.’ A young fellow came to consult with me, and he had a long list of things he was dreaming of accomplishing.

After reeling out his if-I-have the money I-will-do-this-and-I-will-do-that-List, I started to go through it, ticking some, and crossing some as either a great idea or a not-so-great idea.

Halfway through the exercise, I paused and asked myself a pertinent question: “How did you know the ones you ticked would work and the ones you crossed would not work?”

Good question to ask, isn’t it? Yes, you’ve got to ask yourself that question if you don’t want to end up being labeled a ‘dream killer!’

The question got me thinking deep: Why, indeed, did I believe some of his ideas would not work? That question wasn’t difficult to answer. The ones whose chances of survival I doubted were either those that I’ve tried personally and failed in, or those that I’ve observed others lose their money on.

As far as that explanation risk his reputation, his money and sometimes his life, to make it work. That is exactly what Thomas Edison did, for example. I’ve never stopped marveling at how he got so ‘dumb’ as to invest all that time finding out 10,000 ways that an incandescent light could not be made!

Just imagine if Thomas Edison was your big uncle. Each time you go to see him; he is holed up in his lab, waving at you not to disturb him. And when he does agree to see you, he’s telling you about his 1000th effort to invent this ‘stubborn light bulb’, with little success. I’m sure that by the time he starts telling you how he had ‘failed’ on his 6000th attempt, you would have perfected your alibi that would ensure you wouldn’t have to see him quite often, so as not to listen to his long ‘tory’ about how success has been eluding him.

On the other hand, you could also have become as fanatical and as obsessive as he is, so that while he is tinkering with his experiment in his lab, you’re somewhere praying that he gets a breakthrough this time around. But this would single you out as one in a million, a very rare breed! For most of us, we would make jest of him and pass unprintable comments at his back.

Now tell me, how are you to tell if the man, or woman, sitting in front of you would have the tenacity, the drive and the desire to bring a ‘stubborn’ idea, one that many have failed in, to life?

That is the dilemma those who generally get labeled as ‘dream killers’ are faced with. In telling someone that an idea would not work, what most ‘dream killers’ are trying to do is to steer the person out of financial harm’s way.

And, let’s face it, it is not every time you’re told an idea would not work that you end up making it to work. So, sometimes, those that get labeled as ‘dream killers’ are also, ‘career savers’.

Meaning what? It means this: if you are the one being told that an idea cannot work, based on the fact that many people have tried it in the past and failed, just know that you may be the one God has favoured to bring it alive.

This lesson also goes for the person pointing out why an idea could not work. Never insist that any idea cannot work. This is because of the same reason: You never know if the person you’re trying to persuade not to go for a particular idea – because of what you know about it – may be the one to make it work.

You don‘t want to be at the top of the list of his ‘dream killers’ when he calls friends and associates for a dinner to celebrate his success in what many had described as “impossible”.

I can see those who have genuine concern that their loved ones should not waste their lives and money wringing their arms in despair, because of my conclusion here. No, there is no point to feel hopeless about it.

Simply follow my example. Tell whoever you are discussing their dream with why you think an idea would work and why youfeel another one will not work. Then leave the person concerned to make their choice.

That way, you will neither kill your own, nor anyone else‘s dreams.

 

First published in March, 2013.